


Letting Go

by Autobratty



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, Other, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23901364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autobratty/pseuds/Autobratty
Summary: It was a hard thing for Asra to see, you in the arms of another.
Relationships: Apprentice & Asra (The Arcana), Apprentice/Asra (The Arcana), Asra (The Arcana) & Reader, Asra (The Arcana)/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> SO. GUESS WHO LIVES AND BREATHES FOR THE ARCANA NOW

It was a hard thing for Asra to see, you in the arms of another.

The two of you hadn't necessarily been... together, before everything happened, but there was always something uspoken between the two of you. Countless days spent needlessly close, brushing against one another "accidentally"; countless nights spent tangled up in each other's arms. But, as clear as it was that you two loved each other, Asra never said anything, and neither did you. Instead, he spent more and more time away, running from his feelings, even though he knew it was a mistake every time he said goodbye. He’d made the biggest mistake of them all when he left without you to flee the plague, even after you refused to come along. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to go back with every step he took, and every moment of his time spent away. And once it finally had become too much, he came back, but there was no one to greet him. He would've taken you screaming furiously at him for abandoning you, kicking him out - anything except you just being _gone_.

Asra was usually one to accept the consequences of his actions, but this? He had to fix it. Had to make it right. It wasn’t fair that you should have to pay for his actions. Or, at least, that’s what he told himself; otherwise, he might sound more than a little selfish. Long day after sleepless night, Asra desperately searched for something that could bring you back. As the days went on, he became more and more frantic in his search. Every once in a while, Muriel would stop by the shop to make sure that Asra was eating, and try to get him to at least take a nap, but nothing mattered to him anymore. The sole purpose of his existence had narrowed down to the singular goal of bringing you back to life.

The cost was great, but it didn’t matter to him. Half his heart? He’d given all of it to you already. The deal was easy for him to make.

However, he wasn’t expecting what would happen when you woke up.

He was bewildered to find that when you returned to the land of the living, you were disoriented, frightened, confused. You couldn’t speak or walk; you could barely even move. You couldn’t read or write and you had forgotten all of your magic training, despite being so powerful before. You had no idea who you were or where you were from. When Asra tried to explain anything to you about your past, you’d experienced mind-splitting headaches, so eventually, he just… stopped.

It was Asra who tended to your every need, who re-taught you everything, who was by your side with every step. Once you were finally at a point where you had reached full independence, he was beyond overjoyed.

But you still didn’t remember anything from before. All your memories of the two of you were fresh, and none of them painted with what two of you had once shared.

If there was one thing the ordeal had taught Asra, it was that he was a selfish person. Perhaps it was because he was an orphan, alone in the world, that made him want to cling to others and keep them to himself. However, that wasn’t an excuse. Although he’d given you half his heart, Asra learned that love wasn’t about holding someone close - it was allowing them to be free.

And that meant that you could find love with another, as much as it pained him. Especially when it ended up being someone he was so close to. Asra was a master of deception and keeping secrets was second nature to him, so you wouldn’t have a clue what level of feelings he harbored towards you. He knew that if you found out, it would only make things more complicated. He didn’t want you to feel guilty for choosing someone else. As much as it pained him to say, you were… different, now. The same core personality, still the same kind, funny, beautiful, empathetic, wonderful person you’d always been, but with all of your memories missing, your learned behaviors were different, and you were so much more innocent. He didn’t want to take advantage of that, and he wanted to give you the space you needed to make your own decisions, forge your own path.

Asra was proud of who you’d become, even more powerful and determined and radiant than you’d ever been before. He could sense a bit of himself in you: perhaps it was because he, in a strange sort of sense, raised you; perhaps it was because that for quite a while, he was your only connection to the outside world, until you were able to move around confidently. Even then, he stayed at your side.

When you moved on to go your own way, he was proud of you. His intention was never to make you feel indebted to him for bringing you back, and he was glad that he was blessed to still be a large part of your life. Still, the knowledge that you didn’t really _need_ him anymore left a gaping hole in Asra’s chest… and he knew that it had nothing to do with the missing half of his heart.

When you found love, he was nothing but encouraging. He knew you could handle yourself, and he knew the one you’d fallen for enough to know that you’d be safe with them. All the same, he sometimes couldn’t hide the longing in his gaze, or the slight wobble to his smile when he interacts with you and your new partner. He was fortunate that you were still inexperienced enough to not pick up on the subtle cues that he missed you dearly.

Oh, how he longed to sweep you into his arms, to kiss you silly, to whisper those three words in your ear that he'd never had the confidence to say. The three words he knew he’d never hear in return. When he heard you utter them to your new love, he felt what was left of his heart crumble.

Asra would keep smiling so long as you were happy, because ultimately, beneath his selfishness, that was all he ever truly wanted for you.

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic for this fandom is angst, of course - are you really surprised?


End file.
